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Silver heatSailing AwayByRobert Reams©It all began at my eighteenth birthday party. My parents just would not believe that I was through with all that juvenile ‘birthday’ stuff, so I had to endure one more embarrassing round of phony smiles and worthless gifts from all my parents’ family and friends. I am, I have learned since, a fairly attractive guy. Short, about 5’7″ and slim but not too skinny, blond, with sparkling blue eyes and a captivating smile that makes me look even younger than I am.My situation was somewhat unique. I had been going to college for over two years on a special program for ‘gifted’ individuals. That was fine and I loved it, but I had no friends and no social life. (Well, being a book nerd, I never did have much of a social life.) I had not come out to family and friends, even though I was fairly certain I was gay. Having never had real sex, there was no way I could know for certain. I did know that I loved the sight of a good hard man and a good hard dick. But then, pictures of sex acts and naked women in mags like Hustler, really turned me on too, so confusion reigned in my life. Technically I was still a virgin, not counting fooling around with a couple friends in boy scout tents. (Mutual masturbation and one quick taste of cum.)Well, anyway, as I was saying. It was my birthday. A lame party. family. Friends. One of my mom’s friends had put together a jazz quartet to play. It was unfamiliar sounds, but I was drawn to the dissonant quality which seemed to fit my life. It was getting late, close to midnight and things were winding down. Dad, of course, was passed out on a chair somewhere, probably pissing himself. Mom had long-since retired for the night. I was hanging out near where the band was set up, loitering and taking in the melodious sounds. Earlier I had noticed the sax player; he was tall, maybe six four and big, but not heavy, perhaps 200 pounds. He was firmly muscled in all the right places, but not the bulging weightlifter kind. I watched his deep brown eyes, his lips caressing the reed of his instrument, the dark shock of hair that danced around his forehead as he closed his eyes investing his entire being in the music. There was a touch of gray at his temples that made it hard to judge his age, but I was going with forty. It surprised me that I was attracted to a man so ‘old’, but there was something about him, something about the languid, self-assured way he moved his body, and about the way he filled his worn jeans.I had noticed earlier that he was checking me out, or at least that’s what I thought. I was way too shy to approach him, so I merely watched. I began to fantasize about those sensitive hands touching me, those lips. . . The song, a jazzed up version of Sweet Home Chicago, ended on a long trill and the band began to put up their instruments. The saxophonist looked my way and caught me staring at him. To my extreme embarrassment, he ambled toward me. I felt like running away, but that would have been even more ridiculous. I was frozen in place. “Hi,” he said, his voice deep and resonant, “I am Lance. Lance Armstrong. You must be the birthday boy.” “Yeah, uh, er Neal, uh er Scott.”Lance put out his hand as if to shake. Mine was trembling as I put it in his. His hands were fine and elegant, like those of piano player, yet firm, large and masculine. Did his touch linger just a bit too long? Or was it wishful thinking? “I really love your playing. I never was much into jazz, but then I never much heard any either. I like the, uh, I don’t know what to call it. Dissonance is the word I used in my mind.”Lance laughed softly. “You are right. Anyone who knows music will tell you that dissonance, and that is exactly the right word, is the heart and soul of jazz. Listen, Neal, can I buy you a drink?””Well, I , er that is, I don’t drink much and, er, oh hell, I am not old enough to drink.””Well, Neal, How old are you?””I am eighteen today.””Come,” Lance said simply, gesturing with his hand, and I did not hesitate. He parked us at a corner table near the fireplace and went to the bar. He returned with two glasses of amber liquid on ice, which I learned on inquiry was called B&B.We sat and sipped and talked. Lance, I learned was only 34. He said he was an executive with an important corporation, but was independently wealthy. He had three main passions in life, he told me: jazz, sailing, and romance.I shared with him my love and expertise with literature, especially nineteenth century literature, explaining that I hoped to become a university professor and consultant to libraries.”Isn’t that a dying thing, he wanted to know? Books, you know aren’t they becoming obsolete?””Not if I can help it! Part of what I do is to insure that truly great books are preserved electronically, so that even if there is no market for them right now, even if no one is reading them right now, they will be there for future generations to enjoy and learn from. You see,” I told him. “I am kind of a computer geek, too. I helped develop the software that can read a book and convert it to digital form. Otherwise some geek would have to encode the whole book, letter by letter.””I heard that you are in your third year at the university, and now you tell me you are only eighteen. You must be a kind of genius, then.””A ‘protege’ is what they always say, but sometimes I get sick of it. The demands to produce, to excel, are severe, and well, even with the scholarships, I never have any money. Sometimes I wish I had a job at a car wash or something, like a normal k**.”‘Well if you ask me, you are anything but normal. Believe me, you don’t want to be normal. That would be a big step backward for you.””Thanks. I think.””So when do you have to go back to school?””Not for another two weeks.””Neal, I just thought of something. How would you like to go sailing?””Sailing?””Yeah, listen, down at the marina I have a sloop, a thirty-two footer. I’m here to tell you, once you’ve been. . . out. . . there, clipping along at a good pace, climbing the waves with the spray breaking over your face, mastering the wind and the sky and the sea. I’m telling ya. There’s nothing like it. Nothing!” His face glowed with the fervor of a lover. I was really getting into this man. I wondered if this level of intensity flavored his “romantic” endeavors.”But I don’t know anything about sailing. I am not athletic or anything. Why? Why would you ask me? Can I ask you a very personal question?””Sure Neal, in fact, I will promise you right now that I will always tell you the truth if you ask me anything.””Are you, uh… er… uh..you know,””Gay?””Yeah, that.””Well Neal, I have made love in my time to both men and women and I am not sure I could tell you which I prefer. Each is a totally separate thing, whole and complete unto itself. And each and every person with whom I have made love, is a unique and precious individual. Are you?””You mean unique and precious?”Laughing loudly, “No I already know that. I meant Are you Gay?”I was blushing so heavily that I could feel heat at the roots of my hair as I tried to describe the ambiguity of my current orientation. I was already telling this man more, opening more than I had ever opened myself to anyone. Dare I tell him that I was yet a virgin? “Uh, I don’t know,” I finally murmured.”You don’t know if you are gay? How can that be?””Well, if you’re gonna be like that,” I accused, jumping up and beginning to move away.He grabbed my arm at the elbow, preventing my escape. Despite my display of umbrage, I liked the feel of his strong hands restraining me, was momentarily taken aback.”Wait, wait! Don’t go! I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to offend you. I wasn’t making fun. It really was an honest question.”I looked down at him, suffused with confusion and shame. Those eyes caught mine. Dark and deep, almost black. Like deep pits one could fall into and never return. “Stay! Please?””Uh, er, uh, Okay,” I stammered, sitting, nearly falling back into my chair. Trying to look away. Finally looking down.”You needn’t ever be afraid or ashamed to tell me anything. You can trust me completely. Doyou believe me? Neal. Look at me. Do you believe me?” As he asked for my total trust, he had placed his hand on my naked forearm. The fine blond hairs stood up on my arms and on the back of my neck at the electricity of his touch. No one’s touch had ever affected me in such a way. Who was this strange and compelling man who, ‘made love to men and women’, and asked for my total trust at our first meeting? I can’t say, even now, what force drove me to surrender that trust, but I decided to do so. Whatever happened later, it was at that single moment I decided inside my deepest self I would always say yes to this man, I would throw myself into whatever he brought my way. “I don’t know if I am gay because I am the opposite of you. I have never made love to anyone. I find myself attracted to boys sometimes, but I am turned on by pictures, uh, you know, er, uh, of women, like in magazines and stuff. But with my strange life, not being in regular school with k**s my age, I never had a chance to be with anyone.” I felt immeasurably sad at this declaration, though I had never viewed myself that way before. Was I a total loser?”Neal,” Lance had said, “For god’s sake, don’t be ashamed of being a virgin. That’s certainly not anything to be ashamed of. And as for the confusion, I remember it well when I was the same age as you. Perhaps you will never know your true self. Perhaps you will be on a life-long quest to discover yourself, as I am, as perhaps we all are. Maybe you are like me. I call myself ambisexual, but I hate putting labels and limitations on people, especially on myself. I am what I am and I like what I am. Some day I hope you can make that statement about yourself, too, though I sense you are not yet there.” As he spoke he moved his hand from my forearm to my hand, so we were effectively holding hands across the table. Somehow that did not seem to matter, that I was holding hands with a man. Somehow it felt comfortable and natural to feel the warmth of his touch.We talked for a long time that night. Everyone else had gone, except the club manager. We sat in a pool of light in our little corner of the darkened world. I will ever mark it as the night I became a man. That I had turned eighteen was incidental. That I had met a man who treated me as a man, that was significant!He left me that night with his business card. On the back he had written the address of the marina where his yacht was moored and an invitation to sail with him on Sunday.That night I slept little. My mind, my heart was filled with inchoate images of his eyes and his firm body, that errant curl in the middle of is forehead. My little dick was hard most of the night, but I did not, for some reason, resort to my usual relief of a quick 2 or 3 minute jack off. Perhaps I though this encounter rated more than that. The next day, as I went about my business, I felt a strange and liberated sense of myself. I no longer looked on my mother and father in the same way. My parent’s house seemed smaller than it had the day before, their conversation meaningless. I seemed astonished and in awe of the life that roiled around me. Had things always been so bright, so alive? I felt strangely confident with myself as I had never been before. Through it all, I mulled continuously about the invitation. Did I really trust this man I had never met before? Would I actually commit myself to being alone with him on the open ocean, trapped on a small boat? What would he expect of me? More importantly what did I or didn’t I expect of him? One thing was certain, I was going sailing.My party had been on Monday night, our sail was to be on Sunday. In the five days that intervened, I went about in a daze. My sister and my parents could scarcely communicate without shaking me out of my reveries. All sorts of images, physical and sexual, played through my mind. If I went, put my trust in Lance, would he seduce me, hmm maybe? That would imply at least a degree of compliance. **** me and toss my body into the sea? I didn’t think so. Or would we merely have a pleasant day sailing on the sea? That he was literally twice my age, oddly mattered not at all to me. Was he like a p*******e, bent on corrupting the young? Why had he chosen me? Doubts filled me. But exhilaration hung on me throughout the week. I felt as if I were about to embark on a glorious adventure, a quest to find Neal. Somehow deep in me I knew that if I took this sail, it would be a voyage of discovery, from which I never would return to the safe shores of my present circumstances.By Saturday I had resolved to trust, to take the plunge, to seize the day and take whatever came my way. In a sense I was trusting and confident that whatever happened on the sail, the voyage, I would be better, richer, more myself from having taken that voyage, sailed down that road not taken.At nine A.M. the next day I found myself at the Midfield Yacht Club. I was meeting an important and rich man, so I had worn my best pink Van Heusen dress shirt, black slacks, a tweed sports coat and highly shined dress shoes. I hadn’t known that there would be security, but I presented Lance’s card to the security guard who opened the gate and directed me to the “Knot 4 Sale”, Lance’s vessel. It was so big it looked like a ship to me, but the biggest boat I had ever been on was a canoe. I stood there on the dock for several minutes. I am sure that I looked like the greenhorn I was, mouth agape as if to catch minnows, until lance strode up behind me and touched me gently on the shoulder. Even so, I nearly jumped into the harbor.It was like meeting some secret agent or movie star. He was so good looking, so self assured and strong. Any second I expected him to say, “Bond, James Bond”.Laughing, Lance took my hand in both of his. “Welcome. Welcome Neal to my humble skiff. Let me have a look at you. Hmm. This will not do. This will not do at all. My fault, my fault entirely. I should have instructed you on how to dress at sea. Hmm. Neal. Would you allow me to buy you a few things, to dress you for safety and comfort on our little excursion?””What’s wrong with the way I am dressed?””Don’t be embarrassed. As I said, I should have told you. But those clothes, attractive as you are in them, as nicely as you fill those slacks out, they are just not going to be right for sailing. And those shoes. Dress leather shoes? I will be constantly plucking you from the ocean.””Er, uh, what did you have in mind? I don’t have much money and I wouldn’t feel right, your paying for my clothes. It would be kind of strange and awkward, you dressing me. I have been buying my own clothes for a long time.””Listen, Neal, you said you would trust me, right? It would give me true pleasure to outfit you in suitable clothes for sailing. It would be a sort of adventure for me. Like having a son or lover. And, listen, money is nothing. I have been very fortunate and have more than I could ever use in five lifetimes. Another thing. If I outfit you for sailing, if you let me, it would be like your saying that you will come again, because you’ll already have the clothes. See, you are really helping me. Won’t you please let me do this for you? No, not for you, for me, as a favor. Please. Otherwise we would have to cancel, or I would have to take you home to change.”After all that pleading I could scarce refuse. In a moment he was on his cell and a few minutes later, a gleaming pearl gray Jaguar F-Type was pulled up to the gate. “Hop in, don’t be shy.””Wow, I’m impressed.””Maybe I’ll buy you one,” laughing loudly.”Now just wait a minute!””Just teasing, Lance said, still laughing lightly. You like it?””Man oh Man!””Yup, that’s my baby,” he chuckled, running through the gears, pulling smoothly into traffic.At the store, he had chosen Abercrombies, we were treated like royalty. Lance waved his hand and a salesperson appeared. Lance spoke with him for a moment and he returned with some items. I tried them all on. For a few moments I was afraid he would have me model the clothes for him, but he didn’t. I had half suspected he would follow me into or sit in the dressing room and ogle me, but he did none of those things, he merely guided me to the proper choices. In the end I was dressed in fine fashion for sailing, White cotton shorts, a white polo, a soft wool blend sweater, knotted by its arms around my neck, and white cotton socks in Gill deck shoes. He wouldn’t let me see the bill.”Hmm, one more thing, I think,” Lance said, taking me lightly by the arm and guiding me to a rack of designer sun glasses. Again I felt that odd sensation as his hands touched my naked arm, not an electric shock like static electricity, but more of a flowing energy that spread from the touched spot through my body. These were the first items I had seen in the store with a price on them. The cheapest pair were $125. Lance gestured for me to pick. Finally, I got into the spirit and went through about twenty pair ’til I chose a pair I thought were perfect. I caught my reflection on the way out and thought I looked like one of those people I had always envied. But I had to admit, I looked attractive, even to me.Back in the Jag, lance glanced over at me and grinned. “Not that you weren’t attractive before, but, now you are really looking delicious!”Odd choice of words I thought, was he about to eat me. My ears reddened and my scalp got hot. I tried to regain my aplomb. “Well, thank you. And thanks for all this, too,” I said gesturing to the new clothes.”No sweat, buddy.” I found the more we were together, the more often he would call me ‘buddy’. Back at the marina, he left his car running, tossed the keys to a valet, and we went through his club to the dock, avoiding the gate and guard. I could not believe the size and luxury of his ‘little’ sloop. He guided me on board then pointed. “Stand there by that davit, would you? When I yell from the bow toss the line ashore, okay?””Okay, can do.”After a minute his voice came from up front. “Cast off, buddy!”That done, he came to me and guided me, one hand lightly on the small of my back. “This,” he instructed, “is the cockpit.” I could not quite tell if there was a touch of humor in his voice as he pronounced the name of the place from which the boat is steered. He sat behind the wheel, bade me sit next to him and fired up the engines with a roar. He began to guide us out of the channel, he standing as he manned the helm and I sitting beside him. My face was on a level with his crotch, only about one foot away and I could not help but notice that he filled out the front of his white shorts quite nicely. My own equipment stirred slightly and I silently cursed at ‘the monster’ to behave, as we passed the huge water crib marking the end of the channel, he made an adjustment in direction, then sat and slid over, taking one of my hands and putting it on the helm. “Here, you take over,” Lance said, natural as can be.”Uh. . . er. . . Wait a second. I . . . er. . . I can’t drive a boat. I don’t know what I am doing. I’ll wreck us!””Neal, take it easy. You see anything out here to run into? Just put your hands on the wheel and, see that? That is the compass. Right now it says our course is 105 just keep your hands on the helm, that’s sailing talk for the steering wheel, and try to keep the needle pointing to 105. Got it? I am going below to get us some snacks and drinks, I’ll be back in a few minutes, remember, one zero five.” And with that meager lesson, he left me and went below.He was gone probably no longer than ten minutes, but in that time I learned that the mistake I most often made was over-steering, for in the light breeze and minor swells, and at slow speeds, it took very little effort to keep the large vessel on course. Standing there in my new, expensive sailing outfit, the wind ruffling my flowing blond hair, I felt urbane and sophisticated, and a little powerful.Lance returned with a tray on which there were a variety of goodies, including my first taste of caviar, (very fishy and very salty) a good soft Camembert, some small slices of imported rye, and the best little ultra thin slices of some sort of ham I could not identify, but loved the taste of.We drank champagne with the vittles and got to know one another. We talked of his work and my work. From time to time as we chatted, he would reach to touch my hand or arm, and once my bare knee. He seemed very interested and asked about my literary favorites. We followed the meal with bits of mixed berries, melon, and other fruit. As we ate, we talked more. Or mostly, lance talked to me and I answered with uneducated grunts.”When we finish our victuals and get out a bit farther, we’ll put up the sails. That’s when the fun begins. Since there are only the two of us, you will be the crew and I will be the captain. We’ll give it a run through first and then go to it. On a modern boat with electric winches and all it is really pretty easy. Two things you need to know right away. Once the sails are up, never move around the boat without a tether. That will be like a rope around your waist with a clip on it. This,” showing me, ” is the lifeline. When you move around the boat in bad weather or under full sail, always clip yourself to the life line then unclip for a second, move to the next section of lifeline, then hook up again, like this, see. Second, watch out for the boom. See that large pole there with all the canvas rolled up on it. Well when we operate the winch, it will pull all that sail up to the top of the mast, up there,” pointing, ” when the ship tacks quickly, that’s turns fast in lay terms, the boom will swing from one side to the other. If you are not paying attention, it will clobber you and dump you in the sea, maybe knock you out!”I was feeling totally inadequate and a bit frightened, but Lance reassured me. “Since we aren’t really going anywhere and the wind is pretty steady, the only reason to tack is to keep abreast of any large swells that might develop. So don’t worry. Trust me, you are going to love this.Engines off, sails unfurled, winching, hauling, cleatting done, and the boat on auto pilot to maintain our course, Lance called to me from the bow. “Hook up to the lifeline and come forward to me.” I complied. I had had no idea such a large boat would tilt so far when making way under sail. The deck was very slanted and difficult to walk on, not to mention bouncing up and down on the waves, and I moved forward cautiously, very glad to have my new deck shoes,Once in the bow, I spied Lance standing at the very front of the boat. The wind blew his hair back from his fine features, and salt spray flung itself in his face every few seconds. He looked like the mast head of some ancient Pirate ship. There was a gleam in his eye like dark fire. He leaned toward me, keeping one hand on the lifeline, and reached out his hand. I disconnected from the lifeline and reached toward him. He pulled hard and I lurched forward into his arms. He maneuvered me in front of him and we moved out about three feet into a little roped off area in front I was soon to learn was called the ‘pulpit’. He held me against him, one arm crooked around my body from armpit to waist, the other behind him, hopefully clinging to the headline. The boat leaned strongly to one side and the bow rose and fell about three feet with each wave we crested. Held there in his arm, against his powerful body, I felt no fear. My trust in Lance in that regard, was total. I had never felt so excited, so exhilarated I my life. Every few seconds, a wave would crash over the bow, dousing us with cold salt spray, and each dousing was a new baptism. Stretched out ahead of us, a golden highway lay upon the sea, beckoning us to sail away into the sun. I felt so free and perfect. Still holding onto Lance’s arm with one of mine, I reached behind me to touch him, to try to convey to him the depth of my feeling, to communicate how important this moment had become to me. Lance surprised me by kissing the palm of my hand with the softest merest touch of his lips on my palm. I gasped at the intensity of the current that shot through me. I closed my eyes and lay back easily against his strong body, trying to melt into him. He slipped my forefinger between his lips and began to lick and suck it. I clearly felt the rising hardness of his manhood behind me, pressing against me, not with any urgency, but as if to make a simple statement: “I am Here!”It is impossible to determine how long we stood there, faces into the wind, our bodies pressed together, but soon proper control of the vessel took precedence over our mutual joy. We returned to the cockpit and sat beside one another. But now a subtle change had come over our relationship. Either we were on the verge of something heavier, something deeper, or we would return to shore, happier and wiser, but separate. My skin tingled all over as if some magic lotion or tonic had been applied.”Why did you do that to my hand, my fingers?” I asked.”Did you not like it? Are you disgusted with me?””No, no, it’s nothing like that. I am just afraid that you. . . you. . .I don’t know. You might. . . “”Seduce you? Make love to you? Well, I might. I think that mostly depends on what you decide. Do you want me to take you back, take you home? I will if that’s what you want.””No,” I answered perhaps too quickly. “Er. . . that is. No I don’t want to go back, don’t want this, this time, our time to end, I want to be with you, but. . . I. . . that is. . . I don’t know what else I do want, where I want this, us, to go.””Well,” Lance said. “Why don’t we just see what comes natural to both of us, enjoy a day at sea and take it from there. I say again, at this point anything that happened would be up to you.””Up to me? Why up to me?””Well, I decided that night at your party that I wanted us to be together, to be with you, get to know you. I like you very much and find myself very attracted to you. So naturally I would try to seduce you. But you always retain the right to say no to anything.””You promised that night to always tell me the truth, you remember?””Oh yes, I remember.””Will you tell me the truth now?””Now and always.””Did you bring me out here to, er, to.. . You know, to have sex with me?””I want to be very careful to answer you in such a way that I don’t break my bond of trust with you at the same time that I remain honest and true to myself. Yes, I was extremely attracted to you at once, wanted to ‘have sex’ with you as soon as I saw you, but my motives in asking you to sail were more than that. Did I bring you out her because there was no escape, out here in the middle of the ocean? No! I brought you out here because I wanted to share the excitement and joy that sailing brings me. I am quite a bit older than you, in fact, nearly twice your age, so it feels strange, makes me feel a bit like a p*******e even having you here. I almost didn’t ask you. That’s why it has to be you who decides. But in all sincerity, for me this is the way it works.I look on this little journey as a kind of date. When you, that is when I, ask someone on a date, there is always the hope, the possibility that we will hit it off and share sex, love making, I call it. And that we might even get closer than that, establish a relationship that goes deeper. Aren’t we all looking for that, for deeper connections, for that one person, our ‘soul mate’ to share our lives with. So yes, I brought you out here in the hopes that we might make love, but only as a part of a deeper, more meaningful way of making a bond, a relationship between us. You might be that one person, that match to my soul. But how would I know, how would you know if I never tried. So I asked you, hoping you would agree. And here you are.”I am easy and comfortable,” lance continued. “Maybe you’ll make love with me today, tonight. If you grow to love sailing as much as I, maybe we will make love on the tenth date, maybe the fiftieth, maybe never. As I said, that’s entirely up to you. I know this is kind of a long-winded answer to a simple question, but I like to try to be clear.” I was about to speak, but Lance held up his hand. “One thing you can be sure of. I might try anything, but ‘no’ is still ‘no’. I will apply all my seduction techniques try my damnedest to turn you on to me, because it is what I do, how I live, how I love, but If at any time you want me to stop trying, to stop anything. All you have to do is say ‘no’.””Listen, Lance, this is all a bit much for me. I know you mean well, but I, well I . I don’t know anything. Even if I wanted to say yes to you, I wouldn’t know what I was agreeing to. It’s all so new to me. I have never been on a date with a girl, let alone a man. You, you, you are. . . are. . . the most interesting and exciting person I have ever met. By far. I. . . I. . . Listen to how I am stuttering. I can’t even form a coherent thought when I am this close to you. I am extremely attracted to you. When we were up in the bow, when I was, er. . . in. . your arms, I felt so safe, so secure, but also extremely excited. The sea, the spray, the sunlight, well. . . you know. At that moment, I was not at all afraid of you, afraid of what you might kaş escort do to me. I knew you wouldn’t attack me, wouldn’t hurt or **** me. But I was, er, uh. . . am afraid of what might happen next, because I never, you know, er.. have, uh, er, done anything at all. Also, I, er, well. I am afraid to, to take that step, any step. Remember what you said about not being defined. Well, I am kind of afraid of that, too. I don’t think I want to be gay, don’t even really know what that means. Am I deciding that today, I, uh, I. . . “Neal,” Lance stopped me, grasping me on both biceps, “Everything is cool. Take it easy. I will take it as slow as you like. Meanwhile, let’s just enjoy our little adventure.” As he said these words, he placed his open hand on my face tenderly, the most intimate gesture I had felt up to then. “Can I get you some more champagne, or anything else?””Do you ave a pop, something non-alcoholic?””Of course, Coke, Pepsi, Limonada.””What’s leemonahda?””It is the kind of soda that they drink in Greece. It tastes like lemonade, a little, but a bit resiny, like just about everything Greek, but it is carbonated. I picked up a few cases the last time I was over there.””Could I try that?””Commin’ right up. Take the helm.””Aye, aye captain.” At that we both laughed.”That’s right, Lance said. I am the captain, the law at sea. You must obey me out here.””See I told you you brought me out her to take advantage of me. You can do anything you want and I have to say, ‘aye,aye, captain’.” More laughter.I absolutely loved the limonada , so tart, so unlike sicky-sweet American soft drinks, and so refreshing. After our drinks, Lance showed me more about guiding a ship, about having to keep her head into the wind, about ‘tacking’ to change direction, how to ‘spill’ wind from the sails. I was becoming more and more used to his hands on me, for as we moved about, they were ever present. A slight touch on the shoulder. A momentary pat on the knee or thigh. And that gesture. From time to time he would touch my face tenderly and look directly into my eyes, into the depth of me, and something hard inside me would melt a bit and turn to water. I knew what he was trying to do, I knew he was trying to get me used to his touch so he could. . .what? I didn’t know, but was starting not to care. Each time his hands touched me, I longed for him to touch me again. I felt a strong urge to touch him back, touch him there, put my hand on that obvious bulge at the front of his white shorts, but there was no way I could do that. If I did, how would he respond? And where would it go from there. Would I find myself under his heavy body, panting and sweaty? The thought, the idea, the picture formed in my mind, frightened me to the core of my being, and excited me beyond all reason. Would lieing under him be a bad thing? Oh how I wished at that moment that I had more experience.Lance had gone forward for something, was momentarily out of my sight when I heard his voice call to me. “Neal, come here! Quick! I made my way to him, forgetting my tether and the life line, almost falling. “Look,” Lance said, pointing and gathering me to him with his right arm.Off to the larboard bow, a school of porpoises gamboled and leaped and played in our wake. It was as if they performed their glorious dance for the two of us alone. Lance held me tight against his body as he had in the bow earlier, but this time he began to gently kiss the back of my neck and that spot just beneath my ear, whispering to me of my beauty, of the joy I brought to him, of how good it was to have me in his arms. Showers of goose bumps raced over my body. I sighed deeply and lay back hard against him. “Eeep, eeep,” sang the porpoises in their play. “I want you badly,” Lance whispered in my ear, causing a new wave of shivers. Once again I felt that hard insistent presence against me, behind me. Impulsively, I slid my hand between our bodies, laying the flat of my hand on his hardness through his shorts. Immediately his cock jumped and pulsed under my hand. “What was I doing? What was I letting myself in for?””Yes,” Lance murmured, “that is good, so good.” Neither of us moved for a time. We stood there my back to his front, watching the porpoises leap, s**ttering gleaming sun-lit shards of spray like silvery diadems, my hand resting there, unmoving. All was still save for the porpoises and the slight pulsing of his penis beneath my hand. The golden highway on the sea stretched ahead of us. Was there also a golden ‘us’ that stretched ahead into the future? I was beginning to hope there was. There was a rightness and a glory in the air I had never felt before as I turned toward him, lay my head on his broad firm chest and clasped my arms around him. “Oh Lance. I want, but I don’t know what I want.””Will you trust me, let me guide you?””Yes!””We need to sit down. This will take a few minutes, will you help me furl the sails?””Aye, aye captain. Just show me how.” I was pretty sure the boat could guide itself and taking in the sails was unnecessary; pretty sure he was giving me time to change my mind, to make a rational decision. But the rational decision I made this time was to not be rational this time, to seize the day, to seize the moment, let go, abandon rational thought, to set myself free to feel for once.When the sails were down and we were once again running on diesel, I stood in the cockpit, completely inert, hands down at my sides, waiting for my captain to lead the way. He came to me then, placed his arm lightly around my waist and asked simply. “Below decks in my cabin, or up here on the deck?””Could we stay up here where I can hear the ocean, the porpoises, see the sun, hear the gulls?””Whatever you want, my buddy, whatever you want.””I looked up into those dark piercing eyes that once again drew me deep, held me transfixed. “I am afraid, Lance. Will you help me?” “Yes! Don’t be afraid.” We stood in silence for a time, nestled together, watching the porpoises who gambol. His arm was around me. I was half turned toward him, sort of tucked under his muscled arm, my face flat against his firm broad chest, listening to his heartbeat. He took my other hand and laid my flat palm against the front of his white shorts and I again felt the weight, the heft, the length of him. “Feel me,” he whispered to me. “Feel my need for you. Feel it grow.””What will you do to me?” I whispered back.”So much. Everything. Not to you. With you. For you. For us. What will you do to me?”There was a knot in my throat as big as Gibraltar as I replied, “I. . . will. . . do. . . Whatever you want me to. Will you guide me, teach me, show me what to do?”I waited several very long seconds for his reply, when it came it startled me, challenged me. “Open my shorts and take out my cock.”I hesitated a very long time, not sure I wanted to go down this ‘road not taken’, not sure what I wanted. Lance did not hurry me, did not speak or encourage me further. He simply waited, his patience infinite, those enthralling ebony eyes beckoning, challenging. My knees were weak and my tongue dry and I could not speak as I struggled with the zipper and button of his shorts. I discovered that Lance wore no underwear. When the last button was undone, his shorts fell to his feet; his cock sprang up like a viper looking to strike. It was the first real man cock I had ever seen, especially up this close. I thought I would be repelled, revolted, but quite the contrary. I thought it one of the most beautiful things I had ever seen. Lance’s penis was long, though not grotesquely so, dark and heavy and covered by a long smooth foreskin over its whole length except for the very tip which protruded as if it were an eye looking up at me, questioning.My breathing nearly ceased, my heart pounded as I took his fullness into my palm, measuring the weight, the heft of him, looking down at his rampant cock, marking his growth as I held him, feeling the power grow in him, the blood surging, pulsing. Feeling the first surge of the power I would eventually have over him. “Oh god,” I gasped. I looked back up into his eyes. “Oh god, what next,” I thought. And still he waited.”What now,” I finally managed to mutter, barely audible above the crash of the sea, the call of the gulls, the song of the porpoises, the thrumming of my heart in my ears. I hope he doesn’t want to see my dick, I thought to myself. I am so tiny compared to him.His limpid eyes shone as he answered, “What would you like? Would you like me to touch you? Would you like to sit down?””Y. . . y. . . yes, er, ah no. Um, that is. Y. . . yes I’d like you to touch me. uh. . . No don’t. I don’t want you to see me. I mean see my. . .”Something wrong with your penis that you don’t want me to see?”And now I really was blushing from the roots of my hair all the way to my toes. “It’s just, well, er, I am kinda, oh hell, I am really small, I mean my dick. It is really small, especially compared to what you’ve got.””Do you really think the size of your penis would matter to me? I am much more interested in the size of your intellect, your mind. The size and depth of your involvement.”Lance reached to cover my hand with his, holding it against his hardness, then turned, took his arm from around me and reached to unzip and open my shorts. His experience was obvious as he had no trouble opening them with one hand, a feat I could barely accomplish on my own clothes. Skillfully he spread the flap of my briefs, reached in and freed my penis from its confines. Only a little more than the tip stuck out, since my cock was only about half the size of his, slim and pink, cut back tight, the circumcision scars obvious. Despite my excitement, fear and apprehension left me only about half hard. Lance sighed, “ah. Beautiful,” he whispered in my ear. “What a pretty cock you have!” He slid his hand up and back on me. It felt strange to have a hand on me backwards, with the thumb toward the base of my cock and all four fingers around me. Lance knelt and removed my shorts from around my feet. Reaching up he stuffed my cock back through that stupid flap in my briefs. Then grasping both sides of my tight white briefs, he tugged them down to my feet, removing them also.He stood away from me for a second, twirling my briefs around on his finger like a lariat, then flung them over the side and into the deep blue sea. As if saying a prayer, he intoned. “May Neal Scott never wear such restraining clothing again. Amen.” While we were both laughing, he stepped up close to me, grasped his prick and mine and rubbed them together. Seeing and feeling his cock alongside mine, rubbing mine, caused sensations in me I had never dreamed of. The mere sight of our two cocks together, the contrast, excited me intensely, his long and dark, heavy and ominous hiding its secrets under a long wrinkled foreskin, mine smaller, about half as large, pink and thin and circumcised . Next, Lance surprised me by kissing me lightly on the lips while continuing to stroke us together. Oddly, that kiss, my first man kiss, seemed stranger by far than our cocks rubbing together, After several more strokes of our joined cocks, Lance let go, went to the cockpit and sat on the cushions, beckoning me to join him.I stumbled over to him like a programmed robot, not thinking, my body excited as never before, my cock, rigid as a pole, seemed too heavy to carry around, my mind somewhere beyond sight and sound and reason. My heart beat faster and faster, but my lungs could not breathe deeply. I wanted badly to throw myself on lance and take whatever he was willing to give, give whatever he was willing to take. But a cold dread held me in its tight grip. Fear and longing seemed meshed together in an unbreakable web around my heart, my soul. Numbly I sat beside him.”We both look kind of silly sitting here with no pants on but shirts still on. Here, let me.” Deftly he reached and pulled my polo over my head in one swift motion, then slipped off his own and tossed both in the corner. The hair on his chest was a tight, dark, curled little nest. A dark line led down from there, past his navel and into the dark bush that surrounded his genitals. His heavy dark cock stood pointing straight up his belly, his ball sack huge and hanging. In contrast I was almost skinny, my chest totally hairless, my cock thin and pink, also pointing straight up, hard as a railroad spike and about the same size, my pubic hair blond and sparse, shining in the sunlight, my ball sack small and tight.”Are you cold?””No, I’m okay.””But you are shivering.””I am afraid.””Of what?””I don’t know. Everything. You maybe.”He placed his hand on my naked thigh. I sighed deeply. “Neal?””Yes Lance?”He slid to his knees between my knees and looked up at me with those eyes so earnest. “I am going to suck your cock now. Stop me if I do anything you don’t want me to.” He reached and took my cock in his hand and licked the head like an ice cream cone. My prick jumped violently and a moan escaped my lips. Had I wanted to say ‘stop’, I couldn’t, my lips were incapable of speech.Lance’s lips, his tongue, his teeth went to work on me. Obviously experienced, he brought me to the brink of orgasm, then eased off and began anew. At least a dozen times I nearly shot down his throat, but his expertise would ease me down again, until finally, near the end, he took my hands and placed them on the back of his head, then took my hips and drew me repeatedly toward him, surrendering control to me. When I finally came thunderously, I was holding his head and fucking mercilessly into him. As I shot my cum into his throat, he thrust his head tight against my crotch, taking me deep, and used his throat muscles to milk my cock, sucking semen all the way from my balls. When I was done, I sought to pull away from him, but he held me, his head lying in my lap and my cock deflating slowly in his mouth. Despite the somewhat violent finish, it was the highest intimacy I had ever experienced. I felt unbelievably close to him.After a time, he rose. “I’ll be back in a minute,” He said. He disappeared below and returned with two fluffy white robes such as one might find in a luxury hotel. “I thought you might be getting chilly,” he said. it is getting kind of late. It doesn’t look like we will be getting back before very late. Do you need to call someone. Will someone be worried?””Well, I have my cell.”Lance chuckled. “Well, good buddy, You think there are any towers anywhere close by?””Well, er what, then how?””Ship to shore, buddy. Radio. So do you need to call? Okay, so the real reason I am asking is that I am hoping you will stay, spend the night, or maybe a few days and nights. If you say yes, I will take us to a private little island. We can reach it tonight, anchor there for a day or two, and we can sun and surf and play until you have to go back. If you are worried about sleeping arrangements, we can sleep on the beach, on deck under the stars, or there are lots of berths below. This rig sleeps ten.””Well, I don’t know.”Lance took me into his arms then, our robes were open and our bodies touched. He held me and kissed me as a lover would, touching, teasing, his tongue, his lips seeking, roaming. I could smell and taste the slight flavor of my own cock and cum on his lips and tongue. “Please, please stay,” he pleaded.”I will. Yes, I will. I want to.” Oh god, what was coming; what was I letting myself in for?Lance shrieked with pleasure, like a little boy, then ran below to set up the ship-to-shore call. I told home that I would not be home for a few days. There were questions that I did not answer. Was I declaring my freedom? Or was I enslaving myself to the powerful influences of this man? I reaffirmed to myself that I would ride with the storm, go with my decision, take whatever came. I had sealed my fate, for better or worse. Back up in the cockpit we sat and talked and talked, and talked. I knew that more would happen, that there would be more between us. Would he expect me to return the favor? Could I do it? Could I actually suck a cock? I smiled to myself shyly. I bet I could. And what about anything else? The thing that I feared the most. Would lance try to fuck me, try to pierce me with his large penis? What would that feel like, I wondered. I did not know what I wanted, what I would allow, because I didn’t know anything about any of it.Lance was momentarily distracted stowing something so I sneaked a look at his genitals. Yes, I had to admit, I liked the look of that very much. While he was still looking away, I reached down and took his manhood gently into my hand. He looked up, startled at first, then smiled deeply. “Can I, er, just play with it, just touch you for a while?””It’s ‘him’, touch ‘him’, and yes touch him all you want, please do, play, explore, take a close look. Ever see a cock up close, ever watch a cock get hard? He eased back on the padded bench there in the cockpit and I slid between his legs. We both still wore our robes, but both were open. I especially liked the way his foreskin felt as it slid up and back over the head. I became a bit jealous that mine had been taken from me. I decided that cocks, dicks, penises, whangs, were wondrous things. So silky smooth and soft and vulnerable. And so hard and capable of great v******e. And yet even in the v******e, such as when I was fucking hard into lance’s mouth, capable of giving and receiving enormous pleasure. What an amazing thing. I leaned over to look more closely at Lance’s dick. Touching and squeezing and poking. I shoved his foreskin tight against his body and watched his cock stand straight, then I squeezed the head to open his little pee hole. First I touched it with my thumb; his heavy cock jumped in my hand. One single crystal droplet appeared from between his spread cock lips, gleaming in the lowering sun. On pure impulse I leaned and licked it up with a quick flick of my tongue. The taste, the smell of him, of his hot cock was overwhelming. My body reacted from some deep primal place within, my cock now achingly hard once again. I fingered his balls, sifting the wrinkled skin of his sack through my fingers as I examined them closely. The thick hardness of him grew now, so long, so hard, that the large almost purple head pushed through the foreskin and into the light, leaking clear fluid down his shaft and onto my fingers. I took his fullness into my fist and slid the loose foreskin up and back, covering and uncovering the engorged head.”Oh Neal,” Lance moaned.I knew about this. Even I had masturbated before. I closed my fist tightly around him. My small fingers barely closed around his thickness. I jacked his cock hard and fast about ten times, then went back to gentle stroking. This was one thing I felt entirely comfortable doing. I began to jack him off in earnest holding very tight and stroking fast, then slow, then fast again. His cock, his balls and my hand were soaking now as I worked him. I had a free hand and he took it in his and guided me to his chest, his ice hard nipples. I ran the flat of my hand over his broad muscled chest, letting the nipples slide between my fingers, then rolling them between my thumb and forefinger, then rubbing again. I alternated tweaking them, lightly pinching them and rubbing them with the flat of my hand as I alternated jacking him off rapidly, firmly, then slowly, gently. I was enthralled with the power I had over Lance. I had never looked on sex as having anything to do with power, but now I gloried in it, fascinated by the control I had over lance’s body. I could play him like a musical instrument, control his feelings, turn him on or off.Lance began to gyrate his hips wildly, moaning loudly and saying my name over and over, “Neal, oh Neal, oh!” I knew he was close. I had never before seen a penis cum up close, had always had my eyes closed when I cummed, and those boys in the tents, well that was not really looking until after.On a whim, I leaned and took one of his nipples in my mouth, sucking hard, then biting gently. Lance thrust his hips up hard against my plunging hand. I could feel him getting close, his legs tightened around my thighs where I sat between them, his toes pointed. I took my mouth from his nipples, leaned close, my face, my eyes only inches from his pulsing cock. As I stepped up the pounding of my hand, I circled the head of lance’s cock with my thumb, as I had sometimes done to myself. He cried out loudly once. “Oh Neal!” His large cock spurted once, twice. I kept going. He shot again, and again. Three fat globs of cum landed on my face. For the time being I ignored them, watching the plump head of Lance’s engorged manhood closely as it opened and shut spewing forth once more, then again, then flowing down over my hand. I slowed my stroking, changed to a soft caress as I felt numerous after-shocks surge through his cock and balls. I looked at his face and saw that his eyes were tightly closed, a look of pure pleasure on his beautiful face, his mind gone somewhere else. We stayed like that for a time. I sat up but made no move to release him or to wipe my face. He opened his eyes and looked at me. Smiled. He reached out and laid his open hand on my face in that gesture I was quickly growing to love. His lips made a soft kissing motion. He used his thumb to remove one of the gobs of cum from my cheek, slid his fingers to the back of my neck and drew my face to him. Our lips met lightly in the softest of kisses. It felt so strange, kissing a man, stranger even than holding his penis. He moved is head back a few inches and looked into my eyes. Those deep black eyes spoke to me of tenderness, of caring, dare I say, of love? Once gain they drilled holes into my soul, dragging me in, making us one. Silently, lips moving, he mouthed the words, “Thank you Neal, Thank you.” It felt odd being thanked for jerking someone off, but, I had to keep reminding myself, this was not someone, this was Lance. My lance. “My Lance? What an odd thought. Hmm. My Lance huh. Wow. I guess I had to mull over where that thought had come from. Was he mine? Did I want him to be mine? Deep down, if I were being honest with myself, I had to admit that I wanted him with all my foolish heart and soul. When I was sure, when I knew Lance was mine, what would I be willing to do then?”Abruptly, Lance shook his head. “How about some steaks? I am really hungry. Come on”he moved quickly, going below, I followed. “The head, er that is the bathroom is over there, pointing, over there there is a shower if you’d like to shower before dinner. I feel very comfortable staying in just robes. I feel quite comfortable being naked if you do, if not, look in that top drawer of the green cabinet and you’ll find a soft pair of sweat pants you can slip on after your shower. Or you can just wash up, and after dinner we could shower together. I’d love that. Or we can wait until we get to the island, I am probably going to swim there anyway. There is a beautiful warm lagoon.”I took a quick shower anyway, not necessarily wanting to rid myself of the smell of him, but curious about taking a shower on a boat. I emerged and wrapped a towel around my waist and sat where lance gestured.We dined on huge steaks charred to perfection and so tender I cut mine with my fork, on fresh asparagus and a bottle of great wine. I am usually not much for wine, but this was darn good, a Lafitte something or other. Dessert was small cups of vanilla ice cream with creme de menthe, which I also had never heard of, but satisfied me greatly. From time to time lance rose to check the setting and the autopilot, obviously expert and controlling the boat with minimal effort.A bit later, we decided to go back up on deck. I didn’t like it much below decks. Lance led me to a spot on the roof of the cabin. We spread a blanket and lay side by side on our backs. Darkness had fallen and the sky was a myriad of stars, thousands more than I had ever seen. “Damn, I was going to love being at sea. Wait! Had I just subconsciously committed myself to being here again, maybe doing this often?” Smiling inwardly and outwardly, I decided that I had decided.”What are you grinning about?” Lance queried. ” I am not sure that I want to tell you,” I said, smirking.”So I see, I have to be honest, but you don’t. As Captain I order you to tell me what you were just thinking.””Aye, aye, sir. I was lying here looking at the stars and I said to myself, ‘Next time I do this’. . . then I noticed that I had already accepted in my subconscious that I was going to do this again, maybe many times again.””Well that is certainly good news for me.””Is it?”Lance rolled himself over on top of me,but held himself up on his hands. He kissed my lips. One short joining of mouths, but full of intensity. “I am happy that we are together for this time,” he said to me, “and each time we are together I will be happier yet, no matter how many times.””How can you say that? I am sure I have greatly disappointed you.””How? What makes you say that? How could I be disappointed?””Well, you know, I haven’t done anything yet but, you know, . . . ” “Neal, Neal. Dear sweet innocent Neal. I should be insulted that you think I only want you here for sex. But I see that all of this is so new to you that you are having trouble adjusting. You are acting like a stupid little boy. But I understand. You can’t set you perametersa and stay within hem. Because you don’t have any. That’s not your fault, you have no experience. I am hoping that at some point in our relationship you will be able to say and do what you want, because you will know what you want. But it is my fervent hope that we will have a further relationship, sexual and emotional and spiritual. Because, you crazy little man, my darling buddy, I find myself falling in love with you. You think I have all the power, that I am in charge here, but you could ask me for anything in the world and I would do it. I am completely enthralled with you, your beauty, your grace, your innocence. And If you noticed,” laughing, “and believe me I did, you said and I quote, ‘I haven’t done anything YET’.””Huh, what are you talking about? I have only known you a few days and already, hell even last week when I had only seen you once, already then, you. . .were. . . are. . . the most important person in my life. You have changed me, changed my life forever, but you are so. . . so. . . I don’t now, so sexy. It’s just as you say I want . . . want. . . you. . .but I don’t know what that means. I do know that if I lost you, if we were to . . . to part. I, I don’t know what I would do.”Lance shifted his position, his legs outside mine and knelt up. He toook my face in his hands and kissed me deeply. “Oh Neal. Why are you so afraid? I want. . . “An incessant beeping had been coming from the cockpit and from the navigation station below decks and had finally penetrated Lance’s consciousness. “Well, buddy. We have arrived. He spun to his feet in one bound and headed for the cockpit. His robe was open and as he moved, his half hard penis swayed ominously from side to side. “If you are noticing that,” I said to myself, “then it, sex, must be more important to you than you are admitting to yourself. It is time to admit to yourself that you, too are enthralled not just with this wonderful man,but with his large, awesome, dark, heavy, wonderful cock! Good question,” I asked myself, “what am I so afraid of? I finally faced the truth. What I was afraid of was his cock. I was afraid he would fuck me. I didn’t know what that was like, but the thought came flooding to me that that was exactly what I was afraid of. Why? Did a woman feel this much apprehension when she felt someone wanted to penetrate her. Was that what I feared, the penetration, the taking, the loss of self? Was there pain involved? I could not erase the picture from my head of lance’s big peter sinking into me, into, yes, my ass. I felt a strange tight feeling in my crotch, a strange ache in my belly. Looking down at myself, I saw that my cock was larger, fatter, harder than it had ever been in my life. So thinking about THAT had made me this hard. It seemed my body had overruled my head. Perhaps I wanted what I didn’t know I wanted? That was certainly true of this entire relationship so far. I glanced over at Lance, standing so sure, so masculine, at the helm, looking like nothing so much as a sea captain. My heart literally skipped a beat at the sight of him. He was in my blood all right, in my heart, my soul. Would I let him literally in me, in my body?”Neal, come, come look.”I nearly ran to his side, tucking myself under my robe and tying the belt on the way. The moon was rising from the sea. Lance put his arm around my shoulders and we watched. I had never seen such an awesome sight. At sea, with no obstructions, the moon seemed to float out of the water It rose so quickly that I swore I could see it moving. And as it rose from the sea, it captured the sky, banishing what had been starlight and establishing it silver reign. As earlier the sun had illumined a golden highway, the moon now lit a silver and platinum path on the sea that seemed to draw me toward it seemed to beckon to me to follow its endless road to. . . what? Happiness?”Look there,” kemer escort lance pointed. A black dot had insinuated itself in the platinum moon path, growing larger as I watched. “That is our island,” Lance said, drawing me closer.”What is it’s name,” I asked.”It doesn’t have a name. So far it is merely a dot, a set of compass coordinates on a map. Maybe I will call it Neal island. Or Scott Island. Would you like that?””Ha ha, how many other boys and girls have you said that to? How many names does it have?”Lance’s voice became tight. “You can be an evil and cruel young man. Did anyone ever tell you that?” he paused a long time and I could see the muscles of his jaw tighten and contract. “I hate and despise jealousy,” he continued. “It is a great evil that has destroyed many, many relationships. Jealousy means only two things, lack of trust and lack of respect for your partner and yourself.” Again he paused. I could tell he was struggling to control his emotions. Go forward! On the port side below the life line you will see what looks like a small box. On top there is a red switch labeled ‘anchor release’. When I tell you and not a moment before, open the box and flip the switch.” “Aye, aye captain,” I attempted humor to alleviate the situation, but Lance did not laugh. I went forward and awaited his command. While waiting I did some soul searching. If I was showing jealousy toward this man, what did that mean? Did it mean that I had already invested myself in this man? What else could it mean? Something else pricked at my mind. Up to now, I had not really thought of Lance as a human being. He was older, stronger, much more experienced. But I had just seen a vulnerability that brought a certain level of equality to our relationship. What I had meant to be what I thought was a flippant remark had hurt Lance, cut him. I was well-read enough to know that first comes fear or hurt and then comes anger. I knew nothing of his past. Had he been hurt before? I must remember to ask him. Lance’s voice finally penetrated my reveries. “Hello, Neal, Buddy, You there?””Aye aye, Cap’n.””Lower the anchor before we run aground.””Aye sir.” Moving quickly I locate the desired switch and flipped it. The sound of the anchor chain rattling down made me feel as if I were in a movie arriving in Hong Kong or some exotic port. Would I ever get used to this different world Lance dwelt in.I went to the stern, looked in the cockpit. Lance was not there. I did the full 360 like a ballerina en point, but he was nowhere to be seen. Then I noticed his white robe lying on the deck by the starboard rail. I walked over to it puzzled. “Hey Neal, Hey Buddy,” Lance’s voice called from the darkness. “Come on in the water’s warm.”I heard him splashing before I saw his muscular form swim into the silver river of the moon. “Oh great,” I thought. “Now I have to admit another inexperience, another inadequacy. Was I ever going to be the equal of this man in anything?””I can’t swim,” I was forced to holler.”You can’t swim?” He asked back. I could clearly hear the laughter in his voice. I immediately blushed again to the tip of my dick. “What’s so funny about that?””Well I asked you to trust me in the middle of the ocean. I didn’t know you were giving me that much trust. Now I have to ask you to trust me even further.””How’s that?””Jump in, I’ll swim for both of us.””I don’t now about that.””Scared again? When are you going to stop being scared and learn how to live, how to trust?””You’re sure about this?””Absolutely! I am a certified Red Cross lifesaver and I earned merit badges in swimming, canoeing rowing, lifesaving, mile swim, the works. Just jump in. I’ll be there when you come up. You do know how to hold your breath and keep your mouth shut, right?””Well, yeah.””Okay, jump on in. That is an order from your captain.””Aye,aye, sir.” I dropped my robe to the deck, walked back a few steps and ran full tilt and hurled myself over the side, legs pinwheeling in the air, “Woooooah!” I screamed as I sailed what seemed like a very long way down. I rose from also a long way down, sputtering as my head broke water. And true to his word,Lance’s strong arms went around my torso from behind. He made it seem effortless to hold both our heads above water with very little movement.”Relax, don’t fight me. I ‘ll take you to shallower water. Lay back against me.” His arm went around me from above my shoulder on one side to under my arm on the other. He laid back and I with him as he paddled us toward shore with ease. When we got to water just deep enough for me to stan he stopped and swam around to the front of me. Lance reached out one strong arm to circle my waist snd drew me to him. Where the water was calm, its surface reflected back hundreds of thousands of silver stars, quivering and shimmering on the surface. Where the water was disturbed by our movement, wavelets of silver danced around us. the air around us was a pewter color, while to the East, the gleaming moon river ran on across the limitless ocean. Lance’s face, before me seemed etched in pure platinum, like the rare and ancient figure of a god. He made that gesture again, laid his palm on the side of my face, warm in the slight chill of the night. Slight pressure from his fingers was all the encouragement I needed to met his lips with mine. Eagerly, hungrily I kissed him then. I felt his firm manhood against my belly and reached to grip it with my free hand. “I want you. Oh lance, take me, teach me, love me!”His strong hands gripped my ass cheeks and lifted me off the ocean floor. My legs drifted up one each side of his body and I locked my feet behind him And now I felt the length of that rock hard mass stretched along between my ass cheeks. My tiny virgin hole contracted and clutched as if to draw him in. My own slim rod was trapped between our bellies, so achingly hard it made me short of breath. I put both hands on his shoulders and lifted myself, then tried to lower myself on to his rampant penis, by now massive and rigid as an iron pipe. A wave broke a few feet from us, lifting me high, then setting me down again. The fat head of Lance’s cock poked at the entrance to my ass. All the reticence, all the fear faded. I wanted him badly now, wanted him to pierce me, to enter me to Lance me, take me, whatever it took, whatever he wanted. I moved my lips to his ear, nibbling the side of his neck and sucking on his ear lobe. “Do it lance! Please!” “Do what buddy. I want to hear it. Tell me what you want.””Give it to me! Put it in me. Oh god, hurry!”Lance lifted me. Another wave came and lifted us both. When it crashed over us and dropped us, Lance’s inflated cock head popped past my tight ring and entered me. The pain was immediate and crushing. I cried out to the lonely stars and the unforgiving sea. Lance threw his arms around me and held me tight to him, holding us both as we were, safe from surf and safe from each other. “It’s okay baby, it’s okay. I know it hurts. But it will be okay. Just be still. Don’t do anything. This will pass and we can go on. I hate to cause you pain my love, but this too, will pass. Lance began to walk backwards toward the shore. As the water became shallower and shallower, my weight and gravity pulled me down on him, his huge hard member sinking deeper and deeper with each step. From time to time a wave would break and lift and drop me a few inches. The deeper Lance penetrated me, the more severe the pain became. While I welcomed the thought, the idea, of giving myself completely to lance, the idea of having him, that beautiful part of him, actually inside my body, the intense pain of the reality was quickly changing my mind. I began to question whether I could actually accommodate the size, the weight, the length of him. I was clinging desperately to Lance, my arms around his neck, trying to lever myself up, to control the speed the depth of his piercing penetration. My hands were clutching and scratching at his back. A low keening sound came from my throat and my face was wet with tears at the pain of his continuing entry. Suddenly the pain was gone as lance pulled out quickly from me, kissing my face and licking my rears. “Oh Neal I am so sorry, so so sorry, oh please my darling, my sweet, sweet boy, please forgive me. He bent and put one arm under my knees and the other behind my back and swept me up, carried me to the beach and laid me in the sand at the water’s edge. He knelt over me and covered my body with kisses. There was repentance and apology in those kisses, but also deep, deep passion. As he bent over me, his heavy cock trailed over parts of my body, leaving a trail of slippery fluid wherever it passed. I lay in the gentle waves, the roar of the breaking surf in my ears, a billion stars in my eyes, a singing in my brain, a slight stinging in my ass, and a profound aching yearning in my heart. I knew at that moment that I loved this man that I would always love him, that I would eternally be his no matter what the cost, no matter what the pain.And now Lance’s kisses were at my center, his lips, his tongue, his mouth loving my cock, my balls. There was no inch of me that he did not lick kiss, suck. My cock was so hard it hurt. Lance lifted my legs and placed them over his shoulders. His face descended to lick at my asshole. The feeling was so intense that my whole body jumped. It was so filthy. How could anything so grotesque, so nasty, so dirty, feel so immensely good? His tongue entered me like a tiny wet penis and my anus began to clutch and grasp involuntarily. Spasms of pleasure shot through me. One hand went to my penis and began to stroke, gently at first. My cock needed no lubrication, for wetness flowed from me in copious amounts, wetting my prick, Lance’s hand and my balls and ass. Very gently,very slowly lance opened my ass with his tongue and fingers, first just the very tip of his index finger, working in concert with his lips and tongue. I was a touch sore from the earlier penetration, but waves of pleasure soon swamped any trace of pain. Before very long, his long delicate middle finger was deep in me, his tongue still lapping at the sensitive ring. The tip of his finger found my prostate (I later discovered this term, this organ, which at the time I knew nothing about). He bent and wriggled his finger, teasing that tender spot until I was nearly crazy with need and desire. My body thrashed around on the sand, beneath him. Lance gripped my cock tighter, stroked faster, timed his manipulation of my prostate with the motion of his hand on my dick. The explosion, when it came, was unlike any I had previously felt from masturbation. All the others had centered in my penis, the shaft or the tip, and in the core of my mind. But this, this eruption was a wider more open release than ever. My body seemed to open all its valves and gush everything from the head of my cock, splashing and oozing and shooting cum all over, wetting my thighs, my belly,my neck and face. This orgasm came from deep inside me and went out to every nerve ending in my body, mind and soul. I felt its power in the ends of my fingers and toes, even in my scalp. I could hear the sound of the waves, see the stars and the gibbous moon, feel the soft touch of the waves on my ass, but only as if from very far away, as if I had been propelled to the very center of the universe to inhabit that rare province intended only for the gods.Lance released my cock and took his finger and tongue from me. My feet slumped to the sand. But I did not immediately return to earth, to consciousness. Lance straddled my body with his. He bent and began to kiss me once again. His lips, his tongue went to each spatter, each drop of my cum. I came back to myself slowly, the motions of his tongue sending rippling aftershocks through me. The look in his face, etched in silver by gleaming moonlight, spoke deeply to me. He lapped at each drop of my essence as if it were a precious liquid, the food of the gods. This was not merely sex, this was more. I knew then he treasured me, cared deeply for me. Finished rescuing the last of my precious fluids, Lance lay his heavy body full upon me, kissed my lips softly, and rolled us onto our sides. The last thing I remembered before I dozed off, was the redolent smell of my cum on my lovers lips and breath. We dozed for quite some time, there on the shore, one with aweful, peaceful nature as gulls swirled and called overhead, waves shush, shushed us to dreams, and the stars and moon lighted our way to serenity.I awoke with a start, not knowing where I was. This was certainly not my small uncomfortable bed at home. I giggled to myself then. I lay spooned with lance. Behind me I could feel the fullness of Lance’s cock pressing against me. After all that had happened, he had not, in the end, sought his own release but endeavored to bring me to a completeness, a fullness I had never known. My ass still twinged a bit, not used to being invaded from outside by anything, no matter how small. My mind flashed back to that moment, there in the sea, when a part of him. Yes him, a man, my lover now, I vowed to tell him, show him. That moment when a part of him, a part of his body had entered mine. Despite the pain, it had enthralled me. I resolved at that moment to bring it about by some means. I would have this man for my own. I would have him. Have him, have that, that oh so beautiful, large and powerful and exciting piece of him, INSDE me. I would take him into my body, give him everything and take everything. I wold take his cum, his sperm, his essence into my body and cherish it, and cherish him to the end of my days. If he would have me, take me. It would happen soon. I would see to it.Out in the lagoon, our porpoises, or another school of them, jumped and played, splashed and cavorted and danced on their tails with seeming glee. A tiny sliver of red sun was floating to the surface of the sea. Overhead gulls swirled and called. Our vessels should mean food to them, they tried to tell me. Only a few feet away, a porcupine waddled down to search for mollusks, pawing at the surf. Life, living was so beautiful, so precious. Only six days ago I had been thrumming through a boring day to day boredom having no idea of the glory that awaited me. I could define that happiness with only one word. Lance. I watched the sun fairly pop into view. I assumed this performance could only be seen at sea. There was no sun, and suddenly there was. It mimicked creation. In a period of only minutes, the glowing orb had emerged from the sea to rule the day and banish the night.Lance moaned lightly beside me and I turned to see if he had awakened. He lay there looking like any hero I had ever imagined. His fine form looked strong yet graceful, even in sleep. His penis lay along the inside of his thigh. Even in a flaccid state, it was ominous, even somewhat frightening, long and thick and heavy looking, dark and secret, covered by its (oops. Lance had said his cock was him, not it). Covered, concealed by his sleek dark foreskin. I could not stop my hand from reaching to touch him. He was so smooth, like a soft velvet sleeping cobra, full of hidden vitality and fire. Very carefully, trying not to wake Lance, I curved my fingers slightly and slid back the long loose foreskin to expose the fat brown head with its one sleeping eye.I sighed deeply and took the plunge. Kneeling over him I bent and brought my face close to his prick. At once the powerful man scent of him rose to my senses. Seven days ago I would have thought this a nasty smell, hinting of urine and salt and that other, deeply a****l smell. But today, this glorious morning, I knew this smell for what it was: the deeply personal, completely individual, unmistakable scent of my lover’s penis. If I never saw him again after today, I would remember always that primitive essence. But already I was hoping that I would awaken each morning with this odor in my nostrils. I lapped at the length of him, reveling in the nasty, dirty taste of him. Now that I knew what his day-old pre-cum tasted like, I would never order it for dinner, but this morning, the smell, the taste of him on my tongue inflamed me instantly, sending a shot of pure lust straight to my prick. I slid back his foreskin, licking at the ridge around the head of Lance’s prick, then slid the dark heavy foreskin over my tongue and licked around inside. The deliciously foul taste was stronger here and so were the results. Desire filled me. I began to devour lance’s cock. With all the fervor of a gourmet diner, I took him fully into my mouth and throat, lapping and slurping and sucking wildly.Lance woke slowly, shaking the sleep from his head. As I continued my feast, he made a hollow questioning sound, “huh”? As his penis grew and filled, I could feel his pulse in my mouth. The entire mass of him expanded until I could retain him only with effort. I began to gag as the pulsing mass expanded into my throat, but I was not to be stopped. Though powerless against my own impulse, I suddenly felt an overwhelming sense of power. I could control this powerful man who moaned and thrashed beneath me, I could bring him joy or disappointment, fulfillment or hunger. I could make him moan or cry or even beg for the release I could bring him; leave him gasping and panting with need and frustration, or cause him to tremble with the explosive force I could wield. I had never sucked a cock before so I took this opportunity to experiment. I slowed my ministrations. I took the massive shaft between my lips and played it like a harmonica with my tongue and teeth. I sucked and licked and nibbled down deep in his thick fur, then back to the very tip, where I flicked my tongue over his cock lips. I nibbled the fat vein on the underside now pumping blood to the beat of his pulse. I went to his balls, taking each fully into my mouth, rolling each around like very large g****s. Lifting his ball sac, I liked and nibbled at that tender space between his balls and ass.Lance thrashed and jumped around below me like a man demented, thrusting up his hips wildly and yelling, “Yes” and my name over and over. I pushed his foreskin all the way back tight and took the head between my teeth holding it there, daring him to move, to thrash, biting softly, then harder, holding him on that delicate tightrope between pleasure and pain.I closed my lips tightly at the tip and dipped my head, forcing his foreskin back with my lips, all the way to the base, until my nose was buried in his scratchy pubic hair, then licked my way back to the tip, holding the bunched foreskin tight at the base with my fingers. I avoided lance’s ass completely, not wanting to duplicate his actions of the night before, wanting to do ‘my own thing’.I kept going back to take him deep in my throat practicing taking the entire mass as deep as I could, breathing through my nose and teaching myself not to gag at the ponderous invasion. Lance reached for my head, but I batted his hands away, showing him who was in control. I kept building him up to climax by long, strong, deep strokes of my mouth, then return to softer, more generalized sucking and nibbling, teasing the head the shaft and his balls.Time went on and on. The sun rose to heat my back, but I would not yield. Lance was insane with passion and need begging now constantly for release. When I decided he could take the punishment no longer, I readjusted myself on my knees, seeking a firmer base, then dedicated all my energy to causing the hardest hottest explosion I could evoke. Keeping my lips tightly closed, my teeth partially closed on Lance’s rigid cock, and my tongue slathering, I began to suck him in earnest, sliding from the very tip to the fat base, I held Lance’s hips, pinning him firmly against the sand as I plunged down on him over and over. I learned to open and close my throat, massaging his hardness with my throat muscles as I drove relentlessly down, down down. I could feel the trembling, the rumbling in Lance’s body as his legs tightened. He struggled strongly to arch his hips up, but I kept them pinned. I wanted his final pleasure to be my work alone.The pulsing in Lance’s cock grew longer, stronger and further apart. I felt a strong contraction of the entire mass In my throat, my mouth as his first jet of cum shot deep in my throat, then another and another. I forced my face full down on him, so hard that my chin, my nose, my teeth, my chin ached. I slid my hands under his ass and pulled his body tight to me. I stopped all motion except a deep strong suction and the working of my throat muscles on his taut member. Lance exploded in release, his cock like a small volcano spurting down my throat. I sucked and sucked and sucked, draining him, sucking him dry and swallowing every drop until he could cum no more and cried out for mercy, begging me to stop. I finally pulled my mouth from him and moved to lay fully atop him, kissing his lips and murmuring words of love. We could not lay there dozing long, because the tide came up and wet our feet, I was still laughing about that when it lifted my butt off the sand. Now we had further to go to the boat, but Lance stayed with me and I had my first swimming lesson that morning. We walked and bounced ’til our feet left the ground then Lance half-supported me while I sort of dog paddled out to the boat. I had not seen him do it on the previous night, but Lance had thrown the rope ladder over the side, so getting back on board was merely difficult. Once on board, Lance went about stowing things away and doing general pick up and clean up from the night before. We didn’t speak much as he went about the chores, but I watched his lithe body working, trim and muscular and efficient, his weighty cock swaying like a leaded pendulum with his movements. I could not help but grin at how my attitude toward everything had changed in less than 24 hours. Here I was openly admiring the body of another male, with no regret or shame at what I had done and had done to me the night before. Here I was, prancing around naked of the deck of a boat with another person without the slightest embarrassment. In previous situations I had always hurriedly covered my nakedness, worried about what others might think if I became erect looking at another male. Also previously, my conviction that my penis was somehow inordinately small had made me hide my body in shame. But this person, this man, loved my body, loved my cock as it is, small or not.I gazed off the port stern and watched the golden sun reestablish its glittering pathway to eternity on the face of the swelling sea. I was overcome with the intensity of the emotions flooding over me about myself, Lance and the previous night.”Neal, Neal, Ne-al, NEAL!” Lance called for the fourth time. “Huh, Wha,” was my brilliant response. “I said, did you want to put these back on?” Lance was holding out my shorts and shirt.”What do you think? Are you gonna get dressed? I don’t want to run around naked with you sitting there fully dressed gawking at me But if you don’t care, right now things seem so right I may never get dressed again.”Lanced laughed softly. “Come here,” he asked, extending his hand in my direction. It was more than a request, but not quite a command. More like an assumption I would comply with his simple wish. On the other hand, he could have come to me. No matter, I went to him without demurring. He put his arm around my shoulder and drew me to him, sort of like tucking me under his wing, then turned and kissed my lips lightly. “I am so happy you are here.””I am so happy to be here.””Not sorry you came? Not worried about the bad old man seducing you?””Too late!” I started laughing then and couldn’t stop. What triggered my risibility was the thought that a few of the things I had been afraid Lance would do to me less than 24 hours ago, I had already done to him.”You are such a sweetie,” Lance said. “you want some breakfast?””God I am starving.””Well,you can come down to the galley and help me cook, but you’ll have to wear an apron, I wouldn’t want you to splash something and burn that beautiful cock of yours,” and so saying he ran his open hand over me.”Lance?””Yes Neal?””Did I do okay this morning?”Laughing again. “You did wonderful. I have never had a better alarm clock wake me. How about last night, what I did to you last night. Was that all right?””Oh god, Lance are you k**ding. Yesterday and last night are the best day and night of my life so far.””Hmm, you said so far. You plan on more?””Many more, I hope. Will you help me make them?”” Oh Neal, I surely will!””Promise?””Shake on it!” He put his hand out, but when I reached, he avoided my hand and shook my dick, so instead of shaking his hand I shook his dick, too.We spent the next two hours preparing bacon and eggs and sausage and pancakes and fresh strawberries and whipped cream. We sat across from one another naked and consumed this feast. In the end I was so full I thought I would never eat again. I was just pushing back my chair when Lance sprayed me full in the face with whipped cream. While pretending to be overly offended by the whipped cream, I surreptitiously picked up a small bowl of warm maple syrup and dumped it over Lance’s head. This set off a food fight that involved pancake batter an strawberries and whipped cream and any other food type that could be thrown, poured or other wise impelled at the others body. It ended with us wrestling around on the floor of the cabin in a coagulated mess of food, laughing hysterically. For a few minutes after the fight had ceased, we continued laughing, then, suddenly, Lance leaned over me and licked a glob of batter from my right nipple. I responded by flicking up some whipped cream from his navel. Things turned joyfully serious as we proceeded to lick many other things from many other places. “Have you ever sucked a strawberry and whipped cream cock?”Exhausted, we lay panting for several minutes. Finally Lance said, “Let’s take a shower.””Together?” I asked.”Is there any other way?”We rose from the floor and Lance stood behind me and, placing his hands on my hips, guided me into the shower room of the master cabin. Lance adjusted the heat of the shower to a barely tolerable heat, stepped under the spray, handed me the soap and said, “Me first!”I had never washed another person’s body, so it took a moment to get started. I rubbed the liquid soap in my hands until I had worked up a good deal of foam. A rich aroma of sage and bay rose up as I began by washing Lances hair. What an intimate experience it was to wash another person’s hair. I stood behind lance and ran my soapy fingers through his hair. He sighed deeply; I could feel him relax against me as I used my fingertips and fingernails to scrub his scalp.Next I moved my hands down to lave his neck and shoulders. I discovered new sensations, new revelations about myself as my hands worked their cleansing and relaxing magic on Lance’s body. I discovered that giving pleasure to another person could turn me on more than anything they could do to me. My granite hard penis was soon poking the back of Lance’s legs. I stepped back a half step to allow room to scrub his back, his waist, his firm butt cheeks. I squirted more body wash onto my hands and worked up more rich foam. As I sought with my fingers to wash between lance’s tight brown cheeks, he spread his legs and lifted one leg to allow me full access, supporting himself with one hand against the shower wall. I used all my fingertips and fingernails to thoroughly scrub his ass, dipping inside several times and turning my fingers round and round inside his rectum to wash him inside and out, even scrubbing the curly dark hair which rimmed his tight hole. His deep moans excited me deeply, lengthening and hardening my cock even further. I knelt, added more soap to wash his inner thighs, his legs, front and back, avoiding his low hung ball sack and his raging dick for the time being. I used my hands on his hips to turn hum to face me, knelt again, but on one knee, then took each of his feet in turn, washing each of his toes separately paying special attention to that meaty area behind and below each toe.Continuing to avoid lance’s genitals, I rose and rinsed my hands thoroughly, then used my fingertips to gently wash his face. Somehow this act seemed much more intimate and sexy than washing the inside of his ass. I lingered over this task, rubbing his nose between my fingers and spending much time on each ear.At his chest, my main point of focus was his dark nest of chest hair, which spread to encircle each of his chestnut brown nipples, then dove to form a dark arrow pointing straight to his cock and balls. I paused on the way to thoroughly wash his belly button, then used both hands to scrub his balls and the area between his inner thighs and his sizable ball sack.I had saved the best for last and knelt once again to wash Lance’s hefty cock. I started by using both hands to wash the length of him, kneading gently with my thumbs and fingers. Next I held his long wrinkled foreskin tight back against his body while I soaped the bulging head, round and round, spreading the little cock lips to very gently wash inside. Last, I slid kepez escort his foreskin forward over one finger and soaped around under it, then turned his body slightly to rinse the whole thing under the hot spray. Working his foreskin up and back to ensure complete rinsing. His cock felt heavy in my hands and I wondered, not for the first time, what it would be like to walk around all day every day with so much between my legs. I didn’t know how he felt, but I surely would be thinking of sex all the time if I had to lug that mass around. Once he was rinsed, I took the fat head of his cock in my mouth, licking and sucking, feeling the pulse of him throbbing in my mouth. Tongue still working I took him in my throat as deeply as I could, sucking and working my throat muscles around his hardness. I took Lance’s hand in mine and laid his fingers on my throat so he could feel his throbbing dick inside. sliding in and out. Grinning, I leaned back against the shower wall, slid his manhood from my throat and handed him the container of body wash. “Your turn Lance,” I teased.Unlike me, Lance had a definite agenda in mind. Therefore, his bathing of me was very perfunctory until he arrived at certain targeted body parts. He finished the front of me, my hair and face and chest in short order, did a thorough cleansing of my cock and balls and legs and feet. When he began to wash my back, however, things slowed considerably.He stood very close behind me, urging me forward until there was very little space between me and the shower wall. Lance’s normally enormous cock, even longer, even harder than usual from all the attention I had given it, stabbed firmly against my lower back as his strong delicate hands began to massage my neck and shoulders. He moved a little to one side so his dick was now poking at my waist. His left hand continued to wash and rub my neck and shoulders. His right hand began to vigorously work on the cheeks of my ass. The massage of my buttocks and back was firm and deep, so hearty that I felt all tension, all fear, melt away like the soap suds which swirled down the drain. Soon lance was letting his index finger slip into me from time to time, then quickly out again. Two fingers then began to slide up and down in my crack, sending a small shock to the head of my cock each time they ran across my sensitive ass hole. Lance pressed harder and harder on my neck and back until I had no choice but to bend part way over, exposing more of my ass to his sight and attention. When his hand left my back, I took the hint and stayed bent over as he moved more directly behind me. Now Lance used both hands on my ass. The thumb of one hand stretched me open as the fingers of the other, slippery with the foamy soap, worked at my tight entrance. To my surprise, he was able to work one finger deep inside me with a very minimum of pain. Lance kept pulling the finger out, soaping it up, then reinserting it. He alternated turning his index finger round and round only a little way inside me with plunging it deep in me and curving it toward the front of my body, seeking to massage my prostate. I laid the palms of my hands flat on the shower wall, spread my legs further, and bent over as far as possible, my tender pink and white ass cheeks, my hairless red hole now pointing slightly upward.Still using slippery soap suds, Lance now flicked a second finger inside me, barely penetrating past my clutching sphincter. Then deeper and deeper until both his index and middle finger were plunged all the way in me. I began to moan, the pain only slight, a vast store of pleasure opening and rolling out from somewhere deep in me. He rubbed the two fingers rapidly back and forth on each other inside me. Waves of pain and pleasure crashed over me. Finally, he used both middle fingers, inserting them up to the second knuckle and pulling gently outward, circling around the circumference of my cherry hole, opening me, stretching me.”This is it,” I said to myself. “This is when he rams that monster in me and fucks me royally.” I braced myself for the wave of pain I knew would overwhelm me when his massive, iron hard dick penetrated me.But that did not happen. Lance put his arms around me and stood me up. He spun me face toward him and kissed me deeply. Our tongues flicked and licked and twisted around one another. Teeth nibbled tongues and lips. Lance reached and turned off the water and we stood there for a few minutes, kissing and touching everywhere and clinging to one another as if our lives depended on it. Inside my head I was trying to decide if I was disappointed.”Let’s go exploring,” Lance said, bounding out of the shower, grabbing two huge fluffy white towels and tossing me one. “Do you have any desire to put clothes on?””Do I need them?””Not really, I think maybe you should put shoes on in case you step on something. It kind of depends on whether we go inland or stay on the shore. I have some rubber bathing shoes you can wear. They are ideal for running around on a beach. Are you sure you don’t want to wear clothes? You are the most comfortable person without clothes I have ever met.””Only since I met you. I have never been naked in front of another person, except maybe as a baby. What about sun block?””I don’t need it. If you do, rumble around in that drawer under the com center, I think there is some in there.” Once on deck, lance took four long strides, threw himself over the side in a long graceful dive, entered the water with barely a splash and was already swimming when he surfaced. I walked to the edge and jumped over. When I surfaced, Lance was there waiting, arms open to draw me in. God how I was starting to love this man! We swam together toward shore. I was rapidly gaining confidence in my ability to move in the water.Half way to shore, Lance turned on his back, grasped my hands and drew me on top of him. As I slid over his body, his long fat prick bobbled along my face, my neck, my chest and came finally to rest just below my navel. Even soft, it was a mass to reckon with. Lance hooked my hands behind his neck and began a powerful broad back stroke that brought us to shallow water quickly, but not so quickly that I hadn’t begun to relish the feeling of his penis lying against me.Upon reaching shore, Lance remained lying in the shallows, my body atop him, drew me up higher to kiss my lips and face, run his hands over my back and ass, and speak tender words into my mouth. “Oh Neal, I care about you so much. You have taken my life, my soul. Be with me, stay with me, don’t leave me ever!” His words of endearment moved me deeply and excited me to the core. Let the naysayers speak their drivel, nothing is as sexually exciting as words of love, at least for me. My long straight manhood became instantly hard as a railroad spike. Overwhelmed by immense feelings of love and gratitude, I slid down lance’s body and quickly took his huge raging cock deep in my throat. Moving as rapidly as I could, I masturbated him with my mouth. Gagging over and over but fighting it, breathing through my nose, I moved on him hard and fast, strong and deep, continuously, mercilessly, until he cried out, discharging a huge load of thick cum deep in my throat. Feeling an immense sense of power, grinning like a cat that ate the canary, I rose from his inert form and ran off down the beach. “Well are we going exploring or not?” I taunted. “Come on!”Some ways down the beach Lance caught up with me. We frolicked and jostled down the beach, playing grab-ass and pinching poking and grabbing at one another playfully until we came to the edge of the forest, where we proceeded more carefully. All at once we were in a wonderland of green, rich and moist and teeming with life. Glorious birds of rainbow colors flitted under canopies of tall trees. The air was moist enough to be close to rain at all times. Monkeys chattered from the tops of trees and other unidentified things crawled around on the forest floor. I was at once grateful that I had worn the bathing sandals Lance had provided.Despite the noise from a variety of birds and a****ls, the forest seemed unnaturally quiet as we picked our way down scarcely traveled paths. Ahead I glimpsed an area in which the forest seemed suffused with a golden aura. As we drew closer, I saw that it was a clearing in the jungle cut by a small river. Fragrant small and large flowers of every hue grew on the mossy riverbanks. Flickery fluttery butterflies fluttered by and a roaring waterfall tumbled three stories. It seemed I had suddenly stumbled into Eden. Lance came up softly beside me and placed his arm gently around my waist. “How could I ever thank you enough for bringing all this into my life?” I asked Lance, resting my head against his chest. He took my hand and led me into the fast moving water, right up under the falls. The water was so clear, so refreshing that it felt as if I were being continually baptized. He turned me into his arms and we kissed deeply. It seemed strange to me how easily I had adapted to kissing a face bristling with unshaved whiskers. There was no urgency to our union then, it was a slow melting together of our two selves, as if we could become one merely by wishing it so. Slowly our two different penises rose to meet and caress each other. Slowly they stretched and hardened. Our hands drifted softly and slowly over each others body, stopping to linger first here, then there. A nipple, the inside of a thigh, the sensitive vulnerable space under an ear. Lance’s fingers dusted lightly over the firm curves of my ass, drifting gently between the cheeks to probe. My hand slid between our bodies to circle both our cocks with thumb and forefinger, easing his foreskin back to rub out cock heads together. One again, Lance’s penis amazed me. That oh so exciting blend of hard and soft, of generous and awesome, exactly like the love we shared. Oh how I loved and feared it, that rigid, ominous shaft I knew was fated to pierce me. My body trembled at every extremity from the chilling water and Lance’s chilling, rousing touch. I leaned against him heavily as if in surrender, but I somehow knew that time of submission, of total release had not yet come.Lance swept me easily into his arms, carried me swiftly to the shore, and lay me down in the bed of soft moss. Kneeling over me, he kissed my face and neck, nibbled sharply under my ear, took my Adam’s apple between his lips and sucked it like a cock. His teeth nipped a sharp tattoo along my shoulders and moved down. The whole experience was languid, ethereal almost, exquisite in the extreme. I raised my chest to met him as his eager mouth took in the large brown aureole surrounding my left nipple then the right, sucking softly, then harder. Then his tongue curled around each pink nipple. When his teeth bit sharply for one brief moment, I cried out to the chittering birds above. Lance’s mouth, his lips and tongue and teeth continued their way down my hairless young body to the nest of strawberry curls surrounding my genitals. By the time his tongue lapped at my cock’s tight pink head, my hips were already bucking upward toward him.Lance slid forward over my chest and offered me his long thick dark cock. Once again, the foetid, raunchy man smell of him was like a d**g to my heightened senses. I bent my head slightly, forcing his foreskin back over the deep brown sloppy head of his cock with my pursed lips until the mass of him entered my throat. I took my time, savoring the hot musky taste of him, the heavy full feel of him filling my mouth, my throat, as he hunched his hips gently forward and back again in long slow thrusts, one of my nipples sliding back and forth in his ass crack with each thrust. Lance pulled his cock from my mouth, my throat and took its mass into his hand. Kneeling up a bit higher, he used the sopping wet head of his dick like a paint brush to smear his juices on my face. He painted my eyelids and my nose. He slathered his wetness in my ears, made a swath across my throat, carefully painted my lips as if with lipstick. He slid down and smeared each of my nipples, capturing each one for a few seconds within his dark wrinkled foreskin. My heat level rose and rose. Somewhere overhead a rainbow bird or a leaping monkey went EEK-EEK-EEK — eek eek eek eek over and over. Roaring water cascaded down only a few feet away. The a****l sounds, the roar of falling water, the foetid smell of the forest floor and the stench of sex in my nose, drove my consciousness back, back before man stood erect, back to an earlier more primitive time of savage want and lust. I drove my hips madly up at the air, seeking penetration, seeking what, I knew not.At just that moment, Lance raised himself up on his knees, reached back with both hands to hold open his ass cheeks and sat down slowly on my raging hard on, plunging it into his deep regions and moaning deeply in mixed pain and release. I bent my knees behind him and he used them as braces to lift and lower himself repeatedly onto my rigid manhood. I had ever been so hard, so hot, so much in need. Lance began to make his own sounds, very much like those of an a****l. Uhn, uhn uhn. On and on his voice droned in a crude wanton rhythm older than man himself. He lifted and fell and moved his buttocks in a circle, using my rock hard penis as he wished for his own pleasure, smashing its firmness against his prostate. His long fat brown cock slapped forcefully against my belly with each stroke. Faster and faster he drove himself. Slap, Slap his cock went wetly against me. I reached to grab him forcefully, holding his cock tight in my fist with the thumb toward his abdomen, his thick heavy manhood sliding forcefully through my fingers with each up and down bounce of is brown body, leaking puddles into my belly button, wetting my belly and thighs.And then I was gone! Planets and stars and moons whirled around me as my soul joined with the rushing, unnamed universe, leaving sight and sound and consciousness behind. I thrust harshly and rudely up into him. My voice went, “Hunh, hunh, hunh,” with each massive thrust. I planted my feet to get better purchase and rammed into him. Over and over. Faster and faster. Harder and Harder. Until in the end we both screamed our release into the jungle air, startling the monkeys and the birds into a surge of raucous flight, as my cum surged deep inside Lance and he spurted hotly onto my chest and belly, then collapsed forward onto me as my knees collapsed flat onto the mossy bed. It was the first time that we had reached climax at the same time and it was like no other in memory. It took perhaps thirty minutes for us both to return to sanity and reality. During all that time, my cock inside Lance pulsed and throbbed over and over with mini after shocks of that massive explosion, while his anus contracted around me over and over, slowly subsiding as time wore on.We spent the rest of the afternoon exploring and horsing around. Lunch was coconuts knocked from the tree and dashed against rocks to free the delicious meat. We ate from the shell like the savages we had become, the sticky milk running from our cheeks and down our bodies. We washed by plunging in the surf, playing around like dolphins. Always we kept contact with one anothers body, a touch here a kiss there, cocks bouncing against one another or against the others ass. We stayed half hard the whole afternoon. We would have braised raw meat on a fire at the shore to continue our pagan romp, but we had neglected to bring anything ashore with us. As the afternoon latened, we swam together back to the boat, struggled up the rope ladder and went below.I was so hungry my stomach was audibly groaning as Lance pulled out a couple of huge porterhouses and slammed them on the broiler, whipping up a salad from endive, celery, onions and tomatoes. We used salsa as salad dressing and ate the steaks as if possessed by the godess of hunger.Our repast ended, I lay back against the deck chair, holding hands with Lance, watching the fiery sun extinguish itself in the sea. I let off BrrrrraP, with one tremendous burp, which we thought was hilarious, laughing until our bellies hurt. After that, we sat quietly, until the only light was from the stars. Amazingly, the thousands upon thousands of stars that peopled the sky provided enough light for anything but reading. After a time, my senses heightened by the miracle over head, I spoke softly. “Lance, I’m ready.””Ready for what, Neal?””You have a bed here on board don’t you?””Yes, of course, a big bed.””Don’t talk. Don’t say anything. Take me there. Take me to your bed and take me.””Take you?””Take me. Make me your own. Ever since I met you I have been afraid of one thing, the only thing still standing between us, no pun intended. I have known you wanted it, wanted me, from the very first. It seems like ten years ago we sat at my birthday party. You came up to the table and I felt a twitch, back there, in my ass. That was before I saw how truly large you are, er that is how large he is. So now I am ready. I don’t care if it hurts, if you hurt me. I want you. Take me. Take me by the hand.” I held out my hand to him and rose from my chair. “Take me to your bed. And take me. Please!” I stood in absolute silence, there in the night, under a myriad of stars, my body shaking and my heart pounding, waiting, wracked with fear and intense longing and desire.Lance stood and pulled gently on my hand, drawing me into his arms and kissing me softly on the lips. No tongue, no harshness except the slight scratch of his beard. A simple sweet, soft lover’s kiss, plump and moist and full of feeling. He moved his lips to my ear and whispered, “You are mine Neal, only mine.” then turned and led me down the stairs and down the short corridor to the master cabin. He kissed me then, more soundly, more avidly, his tongue rolling, seeking, his hands roving over me. His body was insistent against mine, forcing the backs of my knees against the bed until I fell back onto its cushiony softness. His hard masculine body followed me down and lay heavily atop me.Lance took his time with me. Even though he knew I was ready to accept him, ready for that one last final act that would bind us, if not forever, at least deeply. He began by extending his kisses to the rest of my body, from my lips and neck and ears he traveled slowly gently, carefully, down my body to my toes. His lips, his tongue, his teeth worked their expert magic on my body. By the time he began to suck on each of my toes, I was a quivering mass. His teeth nipped sharply at the soles of my feet, worked over my Achilles tendons and up the backs of my legs. Quickly and expertly he rolled me onto my stomach. His tongue on the backs of my knees had me writhing, thrashing around on the bed. He sucked and nibble briefly on my taut ass cheeks. His teeth sought the fine pinkish hairs at the base of my spine and pulled sharply. My body jerked sharply upward. And now he laid his heavy hard male body softly atop mine, pinning me to the bed as his tongue and lips and teeth worked on my back and shoulders and the back of my neck. Lance’s heavy cock moved upward along my legs and came to rest along the cleft of my ass cheeks as he lifted himself. The fear that had never left me accelerated as I felt the awesome magnitude of his penis against me, large as a baby’s arm.Lance knelt between my legs, used his knees as levers, ran his right arm under my waist and lifted me to my knees. His face descended, slathering my ass with wet sloppy kisses, his scratchy beard sending tiny abrasive shocks through me One hand grasped my iron hard penis from below stretching it back and up between my legs toward my ass, and stroked softly and continuously. Lance’s wet sloppy kisses, licks and nibbles left my cheeks. With the thumb and forefinger of his other hand he spread open the tight round circle of my sphincter. Lance’s spear tip of a tongue found my center then, piercing it like a tiny wet penis, working in and out and all around, darting and flicking and probing. Pleasures untold and unfound swarmed over me filling my senses. I pushed my butt back, stretching myself toward what ever Lance had to give, yearning, wanting to be filled and fulfilled.Along with his wet tongue, Lance worked one index finger into me, stretching, probing downward and inward, locating my prostate. With the tip of his finger, he flipped and scratched and pushed against my prostate, an organ I had never thought about in my life, only learning later that it existed and what it was. Once he touched it, stroked it; from that instant when lance first located that spot, my body, my mind, my soul became one intense orgasm. That one probing touch had started a series of eruptions, each growing more and more intense. Fluid poured from under my foreskin. Wetting Lance’s hand as he continued to gently stroke my cock. Using his probing finger to stretch me, to open me, he slowly and gently inserted a second finger. I gasped loudly at this second invasion. The pain, though present, was surprisingly minimal, but the sense of intrusion, of violation was pronounced. I pulled away sharply, but the insistent fingers followed. Lance released my cock and grasped my hip firmly to prevent further escape attempts. He worked both fingers well into me, stretching and twisting and rubbing them together, acclimating my rectum to being filled. Lance was a gentle as he could be, but insistent, as he worked on me, stretching my tight opening.Lance shifted position behind me. His fingers left me. Suddenly I felt the full weight and mass of his hard penis, so firm and yet so soft, resting heavily low on my back, just above my ass. I started at the heavy feel of it. It slid down and plopped off me as Lance pulled back. Then his face was on me again, his lips and tongue flashing and moving all around, in and out. I could sense this licking was different, much wetter, not intended to pleasure, but lubricate. I knew this was the time, my time, knew that the event I had so feared was at hand. Evasion was over, acclimation was nearly finished. My lover, for that was what he now was, knelt up closer and the fat tip of his engorged cock touched my moist sphincter muscle. “It’s now love. Be ready Neal. Take me into you, my friend.” He moved forward slowly but strongly. My psyche was ready, but my body resisted. He could not enter. His hands softly caressed my neck and shoulders, my back, then moved to grasp my hips on both sides. “Hunh,” he grunted heavily as he drove forward hard. My tight anus still denied him. ” Oh shit, Neal, this is not going to be easy, my love. I am sorry, so sorry to have to hurt you, my love, but this has to be.” I reached back with both hands and forced my ass cheeks open, pushed back from inside as if to defecate. “Do it, damn it!” I shouted. Lance rammed forward forcefully, holding me tight. POP. The fat head of his rampant cock popped past my restrictive hole. The pain was mind numbing. I cried out loudly. Lance stopped, just a few inches inside me. Waited. Touched me in every place he could reach, caressing me softly all over, whispering as he pressed ever so slowly forward, moving almost imperceptibly deeper. “Take me into you Neal, I love you. Take me, have me, love me.” It took perhaps ten minutes for Lance to penetrate me fully. The pain was excruciating and the sense of violation by an enormous presence worse. If I wriggled, if I tried to pull away, or moved in any way, the pain intensified. Once Lance’s cock was fully imbedded in me we both remained perfectly still for a long time. My insides finally adjusted to being so full, the pain began to lessen, but not for long. “Are you ready, Neal. Here we go lover, friend. Now it begins. Lance pulled out about one inch and pushed back in. I screamed out in pain, but he did it again immediately, then twice again rapidly.”Oh god! Oh god!” I cried out loudly. Rather than deterring him, it excited him further. He pulled out further, rammed in harder, Then again. And again. My asshole screamed in pain. The pain began to spread from my ass to my balls, to my prostate, to my legs. His hands on my hips were tight, his forward motions relentless. Lance leaned over me and began to lick and nibble and kiss my back and the back of my neck and my shoulders. I turned my head back over my shoulder and he took my lips, harshly, crudely, licking and lipping and biting on my lips. His tongue wetting my face and neck.All the while his strokes increased, lengthened, strengthened. Over and over he bored into me. My ass was gradually opening to his fevered thrusts, but not as fast as his hunger, his need to fill me, possess me. Soon he was ramming into me with full force, lifting me partially off the bed with each titanic thrust. I experienced a kind of u*********sness from the pain, it became too great to comprehend. I was unable to hold myself up on my knees any longer and fell face down onto the mattress. Lance’s hands moved from my hips, his palms spread my ass cheeks. He drove down fast and hard, the springs of the bed bouncing up to meet his downward thrusts. He had me so open now that he was pulling his hard heavy cock all the way out and reentering me with each stroke. Again and again he penetrated, lanced, pieerced down relentlessly. He levered himself further up and began to drive down into my prostate. I returned to consciousness. As his penetrations became more and more forceful, I finally felt all resistance leave me, body, mind and soul. My ass opened to his penetrations. My mind surrendered to his will. I became totally his. My head swarmed with pleasure. I felt my ass go wide, my body go limp. Lance fucked me harder than ever. I wanted to thrust my ass back up to meet him, but that would take an effort of will. My will was gone. My being was suffused with the ultimate joy and pleasure of total surrender. Now I understood, what my body had been trying to tell me all along. I wanted to be taken, used, penetrated, filled, owned. This was the loss of personality that was to define my ultimate orgasm forever after, the loss of being I had feared more than pain, but now welcomed as my ultimate pleasure.Above me Lance chanted, “Yes! Yes! Yes!The pounding of his huge iron hard cock on my prostate finally took its toll and opened the floodgates to release streams of fluids from my cock, not so much a pulsing, a pumping as in previous orgasms, as it was an opening, an outflowing, draining me completely, an orgasm that struck my entire body, starting in my aching ass and moving out to my cock and balls, my arms and legs and fingertips and toes and nose and mouth and brain. And then I felt Lance unload his hot sweet cum deep inside me, telling me forcefully, “Take my cum Neal! Take it deep in you!” And I was off again, losing control completely, my mind and heart, my soul, going away to some distant unknown plain, stars and meteors and comets colliding behind my eyes, going, fading, losing consciousness………..*** *** *** Clad in my new sailing outfit, (hardly ever worn) the arms of my new sweater tied around my neck, loafers on my feet, a new confident spring in my step, I knocked on my parent’s door. My sister Liz answered the door and I let myself in. “Are mom and dad home, ” I asked.”Yeah, they’re home.””Would you please go and find them both and tell them to meet me in the kitchen. Thanks, Liz.”And there we sat. In the small kitchen that was the living heart of our family. I knew that the news was sad news for them, that there was no way they would recognize my news as great good news for me.”Mom and dad,” I began. “I am quitting school and leaving.””Leaving?” mom almost shouted, shocked.”Leaving where?” Dad parroted.”I have met someone and I am going away with him. Where exactly I am not sure, probably Europe, but maybe the Caribbean first, we haven’t decided yet.””What do you mean, ‘he’?” Liz asked.”His name is Lance. He is my best friend and my lover. We met at my birthday party. I am in love and we are going somewhere they will let us get married. And I want to spend the rest of my life with him.””That’s insane,” dad opined.”Maybe, I answered, but it is the best thing I will ever do. Be happy for me because you have no choice. I am eighteen, I am going. I have found what I have always been looking for. If you ever want to hear from me again, see me again, wish me luck.” “But when, when are you going?””Sorry mom, today, now, I am going to lance’s house to spend the day, the night, the rest of my life, I hope, with the person I love most in the world. Lance has taught me the meaning of life and love and I will never go back to the unfullfilling life I was living.”His family sat dumbfounded, his dad frowning, his mom and sister weeping.Neal turned on his heel and marched off resolutely to begin his new life. OUTTAKE: After a short time, Lance moved up to sit beside me again. I could not help but notice his large cock still stood tall and proud and iron hard from his hairy crotch. I reached to grasp his thickness, moved the foreskin up and back. I was surprised how easily it slid up and back, interested at the fluid that began to leak from him. I captured a drop on my index finger and brought it to my lips, my first taste of anything from a cock. The taste was deep and funky and masculine, the kind of aroma and savor one’s mind says, ‘that’s icky’, but one’s crotch says ‘more’. I trembled in fear and apprehension as I slid to my knees and moved my face toward his rampant cock, the smell now strong in my brain.

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